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Last year, when I had nothing to write, as often happens with writers, I wrote about writing. This year I realised that not many people like reading about writing unless they’re writers, which many of my readers are not. Therefore it’s been a long time since my last post. Not because I was busy flooding rivers, reducing the water table, desertificating Africa, melting the ice caps, hunting the tiger, decimating indigenous populations and killing ozone layers with my high-as-dinosaur carbon footprint, but because I was simply lazy.

Now, I could tell you about my life and its major revolutions with my major resolutions, but since there are more important things that exist, and indeed more important things for people to do, I’ll keep it very short. I wrote an exam, joined a new school, went and came back from England, Scotland and Wales, made a few friends, lost many others, became Head Boy (again) and watched enough Top Gear to make Jeremy Clarkson rich enough to buy a new Jag. But those of course, don’t necessitate writing about because they’re things that happen. These are experiences that take place, and in the grande scheme of things, these experiences are inferior to many other possible experiences.

What is important, of course, is how we deal with these experiences by analysing them. Or in other words, our thoughts. And since my thoughts, in the grande scheme of things, are not inferior to most other thoughts, I sometimes like to tell everyone about it.

About two years ago, in the end of ninth grade, I realised that I’d done enough of participating in events and winning (a few) competitions, so I decided to call it quits, pack my metaphorical bag and relax, devoting my energy leftover after sitting in front of the computer for nine hours a day to study. Of course, the world didn’t do the same, and it continued being large and frightening, and so tenth grade passed by with me mostly ignoring it. After that, in the beginning of eleven, where I have been hopelessly plunged into right now, it occurred to me that others didn’t in fact, decide to stand aside, and so I see people with a hitherto unseen craving for challenges leap forward like an ugly, mutilated jackal and lap up opportunities with fierce savagery.

Of course, it’s not like that. It’s mostly just little kids listening to the teacher and taking a few books that she gives them to class XI E.

Since I can use this piece of internet real estate as an advertisement for myself, I would, through the use of effective grammar and mellifluous vocabulary, entice you to befriend me, unless your IQ is hovering around room temperature and you don’t like Blackadder, in which case, never mind. However, I am too uninterested and will, therefore leave and not finish this sent

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Upamanyu Acharya is a writer who doesn't write. Sometimes he's an artist, musician, photographer, physicist or lazy student. His hobbies include being vague, bending rules, time-travel, and embellishment of words. This is his personal blog where he writes on topics ranging from leadership skills to the consistency of jam.

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