Why good writing is so scarce these days.

posted in: Childhood Posts | 1

You must have noticed the lack of updates. Or you mightn’t have. The former makes me sad and the latter makes me even more sad, because if you can’t read what I write, it means somewhere down the line, someone has failed. I could say that it’s totally my fault that I haven’t written in over a month, but then again, I don’t see how that’s my fault.

It’s somewhat a sad state of affairs. Here’s what happens: I go to school, I study, I come home, procrastinate and study just a little bit.

Procrastination, in effect is like a lightbulb that works only when you switch it on. It's totally useless otherwise. Except in the case of procrastination, the lightbulb is always switched off because you cannot do things like "switch on it" or "turn it on" or "open the light".

So there you have it, people, the official chart that renders my twitter feed invalid! On a slightly lighter note, I am going to give a really important exam in a year or so, and I don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to give the world what it deserves; my wrath.

On an even lighter note, my language skills are crippling like autumn leaves that fall off and crumble on the earth, making my writing futile and uninteresting. Which is why I am taking this opportunity at this point in my life to write a book that will hopefully be published in the next ten years. It’s about a person playing Monopoly with God. And since you’re taking the time to come this far and read what I have to offer, here’s a little excerpt:

You see, in a certain parallel universe, the Earth, the Solar System, the galaxy and the universe are exactly the same, except for one fundamental difference; there is no concept of second in that particular universe. This is the reason for a couple of muck ups that regularly occur on the other Earth, including wrong people receiving trophies at races, failure of all binary based equipment, and to a lesser extent, the inability of preschoolers to be able to match the columns successfully. Whenever little Jimmy inquires as to why he is not able to solve the matching-chart, when he clearly recognizes all the fruits in the chart, his question is simply subdued by the answer, “well, that’s just the way it is,” and little Jimmy is later branded a non-conformist. Later on in life he goes on to re-invent the wheel and rediscover fire while the rest of the world is in a perpetual state of war caused when one man asks his greengrocer where his missing change went.

And that, readers, is what I get up to when I’m not doing anything that falls in the red category in the pie chart above!

Follow Upamanyu Acharya:

Upamanyu Acharya is a writer who doesn't write. Sometimes he's an artist, musician, photographer, physicist or lazy student. His hobbies include being vague, bending rules, time-travel, and embellishment of words. This is his personal blog where he writes on topics ranging from leadership skills to the consistency of jam.

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