iTunes is the worst thing to ever happen to the universe, after the Big Bang, of course.

posted in: Childhood Posts | 0

Recently, the much hyped iOS 5 was released. I wanted to see if the product lived up to its hype, so I wanted to download it for my not so old first generation iPad. But what do you know, I was interrupted!

If iTunes were a character in a comic book, it would be that villain who everyone likes, but then he goes on a murderistic rampage and only a few people realise; the rest continue to like him. If iTunes were a plate of food it would be the fattiest food you can imagine; everyone likes it, but it will kill you in the end. If iTunes were cutlery, it would be that knife that you love cutting your steaks with until one day it cuts one of your fingers off. If iTunes were a product of a terrorist organization, it would be the most successful one in the history of terrorism. If iTunes were the worst software ever written, it would exist. And it does, unfortunately.

I guess when Steve Jobs commanded Apple to make iTunes, his orders were something along these lines:

“I want you to create something bold, something innovative, something that will want to make people wish they were computer illiterate. This world is too happy with all these new fangled computer thingies, we must plague that tradition and make people suffer for buying Apple products.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

I don't hate this man. Image courtesy "Wired". “What’s that?! Software that actually works?! ELIMINATE IT!”

Now, don’t misinterpret this. I don’t hate Steve Jobs. I just hate the product that his demonic company has created, and as he was in charge of the company, and someone has to be blamed, he fits the bill perfectly. I’m not an Apple hater either, I have a first generation iPad, and I use it more often than all other electronic devices put together.

iOS 5 is great. Right when Blackberry Messenger shuts down, Apple scoops up the opportunity like a double chocolate-mint ice cream and delivers iMessages. They’ve fixed many problems with iOS 4 too, which is great, considering it had many shortcomings.

But iTunes, goddamn iTunes.

iTunes is the worst thing ever invented.
Including marshmallows and paper money.
There are no options, you have to implement it.
It’s so bad it’s not even funny.

iPads, iPods, all really cool devices.
All made useless without goddamn iTunes.
It is the epitome of all humanity’s vices.
I feel like banging my head with two copper spoons.

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.
The devil’s toolbox is not a nice thing at all.
Not because it’s bad; it’s pretty luxurious to use.
The thing is, it contains goddamn iTunes.

Follow Upamanyu Acharya:

IIM Ahmedabad MBA 2021. My hobbies include being vague, bending rules, time-travel, and embellishment of words. This is my personal blog where I write on topics ranging from blockchain, to leadership skills and the consistency of jam.

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