Don’t fear to be awesome.

At this point of time, I’m experiencing an excruciating level of mental stress; each moment I exist is like having a coconut fall on my head repeatedly every 12 seconds, while having to exist on a mixture of oxygen and ammonia, so that with every breath I am that much closer to asphyxiating to death. Just kidding, I’m pretty chill.
But I can’t say the same for my friends. They seem to be experiencing more or less what I described. The reason being…

Examinations!

For most people it is a time where every moment wasted is a moment that has been washed with water from the river Styx, then spat upon by a devil and then swallowed sideways. A moment not spent studying is the equivalent of having spent billions of dollars on a space program and never launching the shuttle. I notice as they meticulously mark every important point in the ‘sacred’ textbook with a well sharpened pencil, or if they’re super enthusiastic about their studies, a highlighter. Every point savagely mugged and instilled into the brain like totalitarian propaganda. A single ten minute coffee break being like supersession Parliament. But that’s alright though, I’m the only one I know of that drinks coffee. I would almost laugh at them, but then I’d have to act as though I actually care.
If only they’d take some time to read this post that I wrote back in February.
Let me repeat a few important points from what I wrote previously. There are a few things you should NEVER do during exams.
1) Study.
Seriously. The more you study, the worse it is for yourself. Imagine this, a giraffe is told that the next day its height is going to be measured. So the giraffe thinks, “I want to be as tall as a Stratocaster fretboard!” and it proceeds to eat a LOT of leaves. Hoping to become tall by the next day. That’s the animal equivalent of studying for a test.
2) Sleep.
Seriously. The more you sleep, the less time you have to ponder over the mysteries of the universe. Did Einstein discover relativity by sleeping? No. Did Dante write The Divine Comedy by sleeping? No. Did the hare win against the tortoise by sleeping? No. Did Fluffy guard the Philosopher’s Stone by sleeping? Well, uh, yes… but whatever.

Special Relativity isn’t going to discover itself.

3) Eat.

The more you eat, the dumber you get. And it isn’t because you are what you eat. You are not what you eat. Case in point: I am not a plate of Fish ‘n’ Chips. Or maybe I am, I’m not totally sure, you can never be sure in this universe.

Basically, you should not be normal. Normalcy is the bane of all things good in the universe.

So, don’t fear to be awesome.