Seasons.

posted in: Childhood Posts | 0

 

It’s rather hot over here in Mumbai. The summer temperatures always rise up to 40 degrees or so during the month of May, which marks the onset of the hottest month of the year. For all those from different countries that do not happen to include India, let me explain the cycle of seasons over here…

The hottest months are supposed to be May and June, but lately with global warming and whatnot, the seasons have become slightly unpredictable, with the heat setting in as early as late March or sometimes as late as the last weeks of April. There is no Spring in this climate. Spring is for people who need time to shove aside their blankets and fill up their swimming pool with water, or in some cases, orange juice.

During the end of the first week of June, the first bout of rain showers begin to appear. It arrives with extreme accuracy, even more accurate than one of Del Piero’s free kicks that inevitably always land in the net. Even more accurate perhaps, than the doctor’s syringe; hell, it’s even more accurate than a red shell in Mariokart. Following the first rain showers, there is always a time of a week or two where there is no rain at all, not even a single drop. People frantically carry around their umbrellas only to be disappointed at the end of the day. Farmers stop their irrigation because they think that the rain will do all the work for them. Meteorologists get fired as they always predict rain, but of course it never appears, and finally, God gets rather upset over the falsehood of propaganda that plagues the entire nation, so he starts crying, and then the farmers and lemonade stall owners rejoice.

The rainy season lasts for about 3 months, and in that time, I get sick exactly two times. It lasts till around mid September, but as usual, the climate suddenly decided that it wanted to be mean last year, so it decided to extended the monsoon till October. Not cool, weather, not cool. The rains are a very bad time for this city, but a very good time for most of the rural landscape. So far, I’ve lived in this city for 7 years, and there have been 4 floods during that time. Once our car almost got swept away. (I’m exaggerating by a lot but no one really cares, so I shall hand them cookies later on instead.)

And then comes a period which is relatively hot, which I hate because that is also the time when Diwali and Durga Puja occurs, and the only good part about that is that I can have LOTS of fried fish. I live fried fish. Durga Puja over here is like the Rio Carnival, with less parades and more umm… fish.

And then comes the not hot season, also called Winter because that’s what the rest of the world calls it. If God was in Summer, Satan would be in Winter because he is so cool. I think.

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Upamanyu Acharya is a writer who doesn't write. Sometimes he's an artist, musician, photographer, physicist or lazy student. His hobbies include being vague, bending rules, time-travel, and embellishment of words. This is his personal blog where he writes on topics ranging from leadership skills to the consistency of jam.

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