Why do I write like a genius? Well part of it has to do with the fact that I AM a genius, but the other part… No wait, the other part is the same. So basically if you have the will and determination to try and compete with me, please don’t kid yourself. Even if you are the best, you’re still second best. And the first is usually me. Which propagates me to my second point…
Coming second is never a good thing. There have been times in my life when I’ve come second instead of first, but usually when that happens I just curl myself up into a ball, wait for nightfall, and then slowly sway back and forth with a holy book in my hand. The book is usually something like the Bible or the Gita or a Pokémon comic book. Then I pretend I’m a sea anemone who has failed in his one and only ambition: to be a sea anemone.
Another reason I write like a genius is because I don’t type like a dim-witted flaky candlestick. You know, those people who use things like u and lyk and f9. I mean seriously, f9? That sounds like Ef Nine, not like Fine. Moron. These people are the cause for you being so stupid. Stop being friends with anybody who doesn’t type like me. Good language is correct language, get it? Get the joke? Me neither. And you know why? Because there is no joke. There, that wasn’t so hard was it?
Also sometimes I like to eat apple pie upside down, which I think helps to an extent because then you will be unaware of all the other things going on around you at the time, such as flowing rivers and passing time and swaying grass and whatnot.